Since birth we’ve been taught that no means no. So ingrained into our psyche, we hear the word and often back down. Yes, there are absolutely times when no is NO!
As adults, we adjust realizing that no can have many meanings. In sales it can mean not now. In leadership and management the same holds true. And, it spans all generations.
However, saying no can bring you to yes because it is an attention getter and has been our entire life. It can also give you time, space and freedom. That’s a YES!
As I speak around the country, people will confide that they’re afraid of saying no while others, state with pride, that they say no too much.
Going off the basic premise that we all like to receive yes’s try these techniques to turn your no’s into yes!
I have had many people contact me with stories of how this has changed their life, increased productivity and captured back some of their precious time. This idea is not new, but we need to be reminded of its power to enable us to gain back control in our hectic lives.
- Eliminate fear. Not easy to do, but the results are often better than you realize. The issue is that we often convince ourselves of a horrific outcome before we try. Thankfully, we are often wrong. Saying no challenges others to come up with a different, better approach or leave you the heck alone. Win-win!
- Practice makes When you begin to embrace the power that comes with saying no, you’ll notice that you have more time. That’s true at work, home and relationships that bring you down. Understanding that we balance when we say no with our needs, wants and desires.
- Yes’s naturally grow in frequency because as stated above we are wired to want to hear yes. This is much more than an experiment, it works. To increase your chances of receiving a yes try following your NO with the word however or but.
It sounds like this:
I understand that you’d like me to work on this project however I have three that I am working on right now that have strict deadlines. Which one would you like me delay so that I can work on this for you? Or, Sue has asked me to complete these projects but if you’d like to ask her to choose which of these I should stop, I’d certainly work on this for you. Chances are the person(s) asking you have no idea what is on your plate. You just told them without being nasty and often will not have more piled on your desk.
And that’s just at work. Saying no in your personal life has rewards too. The biggest, being more time for you to do that which means the most. Saying no increases your time allotment that is to be guarded tightly.
Remember, like any form of exercise this takes practice. Start off small with those you trust and build.